A Harry Potter Diary
by sham-POOH
Summary: Slashity-slash slash. Yup. Harry has a diary, and he's a little Gay Boy...well Bi...but still! MWAH HA HA HA HA!
1. Harry's note!

Harry Potter's "Diary/Blackbook"  
  
Harry's note!  
  
Dear All Potterheads/Derranged people who like to read my personal life. You realize this is my diary. Now you realize that most "males" don't keep diaries. But Frankly.I REALLY don't care, and besides.Tom Riddle had one, so why can't I? So we'll start off with the three dimwits that I have to live with, which obviously you know about, because you read about my life.in a book. I'm sorry but, obviously you don't have a life of your own if you have to read about mine. Okay well, let's get straight to the point. You would think that most men that carry a diary would be gay/bi I am.Shutup and stop laughing about it, or I'll use my Avada Kadabra curse, and blow your brains out, before you can say.well.whatever. So if you decide to be stupid, and read about my personal life, like you already have, then go straight ahead and be a dumbass. Just remember, that what you read hear, may scar you for the rest of your life. Don't blame me though. I didn't make you read this thing.  
  
August 31st Oh poor, stupid Dudley waddling back and forth from the fridge, to the table, and hurting his back. It's just gross to watch his rolls jump, and quiver, as he's walking. He's never going to lose his virginity.poor guy, and even if he tries, it'll be hard enough finding his willy. Before he could even get it in, he'd probable squish the poor soul that's under him. Unless the girl is fat too.then they'd only break the bed. Okay, ew! Why am I thinking about my cousin losing his virginity when I already knows it's not gonna happen? Alright, and just looking at Aunt Petunia, and her skinny little stick figure, seeming so afraid all the time. She thought the letters popping out through the mail slot was bad? I would really like to know how Dudley got here. Maybe she just sneezed one day and he shot out. Yikes! If I were her I would have been yelling, Ready.Aim.FIRE!!! But let's not think about that right now. I got a picture from Ron the other day. He looks very sexy in that new jumper his mother made him. Yum!!! Hermoine got boobs too!!! She sent me a picture! Looks like that girl isn't so tight anymore. She's finally hit puberty.  
  
September 1st: 2:23am Yum!!! I've been up all night looking at sexy Ron. I wonder if Draco got any hotter. His hair all slicked back. I want to make him sweat. Guys tend to look cuter when they sweat. I'll be going to school in five hours and thirty seven minutes and counting. I wonder what I'll wear. I've been thinking of spiking my hair, and wearing my purple turtle neck. Oh, I'll ask Hermoine. She's good with that stuff. Anyhow, I must sleep, and dream of Ron.  
  
8:00am Oh no! My morning call.Hedwig. Uncle Vernon yelling at me to get my arse out of bed, and get down there. I don't understand why he gets so upset about having to bring me to King's Cross. He gets to get rid of me, and I get to get rid of him for God's sake. I see my purple turtle neck in my closet. I think it's chosen me. I'm going to look so sexy in the turtle neck, and my robes. Oh my god!!!  
  
9:00am Alright, I'm at King's cross, and I am looking for Ron. He's there! He looks more handsome that ever! Him with his.devilish grin. "Oh my God!!! Ahhhhhh!!! It's Ronniekins, sugar pie, honey! Oh my God how are you? You're so tall, and handsome, and those shoes? Are they Prada?" Awwww! His sexy little blush. I'm going to have some fun this year. I'm getting on to the train now. Looking forward to going into that cute little washroom. Tee hee!!!  
  
9:20am: Washroom. I've got Ronniekens in here with me. Big makeout session. He's so good with his tongue. Just how he moves it around in circles. I felt that little tingly feeling up and down my spine, and down below. I think I'm rising. Oh well.all part of the moment for me.  
  
9:30pm I'm laying in my bed, thinking about Ronniekens, and Hermoine, and me.all together. Hmmmmm.good thoughts.  
  
September 2nd: 6:30pm (dinner)/Ronniekens and me in Filche's closet. I didn't know that brooms could be so useful for things other than flying. Why had a bit of fun with the mop ringer outer too. I decided to take a crap on Ron's chest today. It really turned him on. We decided to use beads too. I kind of teased him a bit today. It drove him crazy.  
  
September 3rd : Hermoine and my conversation: Direct quotes. 8:00pm Me: Hey, what are you doing? Herm: Snape wants a ten foot essay today on Wolfesbane Me: Well, isn't that about fifteen? Herm: There's nothing wrong with doing extra Me: Do you want to take a break for a little bit? Herm: What do you want to do? Me: Well I was thinking we could go up to my dormitory, and have some fun, get Ron, have some more fun, what do you think? Or are you going to pussy out again just like you did last year? Herm: I guess I could have a little fun Me: **thinks** God! I love you  
  
8:30pm Ron, Herm and I had lots of fun today. Lot's of chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, fondu, Strawberries, cherries, and never forgetting the cucumber which was the main thing. She decided to take out her vibrator. She actually admitted that she had one. She said it was the only way she could relieve all of the attention from school. I guess that was the reason she wasn't as tight as I thought she'd be. She's had practice. Alright so I suppose we should do this more often then. You know.fuck buddies as I would say. I hope no one walks in. Usually when the curtains are drawn, the pad is a rockin. I kind of gave him some rules to follow if the curtains were closed. If the pad is a rockin, Don't come a knockin. I think he got the point pretty quick. He never comes in, because he always knows how hard I am at work!  
  
September 4th I actually saw Draco in the halls today. His hair isn't so gelled back. I think everyone got sexier over the summer..especially Sprout and McGonagall. Very good. Neville has lost some weight around his middle, so I guess I'd do him if I had the opportunity to, just like Snape. There are some people who just have way too much tension in their lives, and they need a way to releive it. So I suppose I'm everybody's boy toy when they need one, because I'm always there to reach out a helping hand to anyone to needs it! Heh!!! That's just me though.  
  
September 4th Yum! Professor McGonagall has really shaped up over the summer. All the wrinkles across her forehead are gone. I think she had botox. Whatever it is, she's hot. I wonder if she has any kids though. None of the teachers seem to have kids. Dumbledore's beard has grown longer. It makes him look very masculine. Draco doesn't have such a big stick shoved up his arse anymore. Although he could, if he came with me into the shrieking shack.heh!! I think I should change it to the moaning shack though. It would make more sense since I use it for my little favors, and parties.if you know what I mean. Hermoine is a tomcat. I'm not kidding. She can go on and on and on and on and on. Ron's a little naïve boy. But I think that I could change that by the end of the school year. Professor Sprout isn't so plump this year. I guess I'd do her. It'd be fun to here her scream! "Oh yes! Harry! Definitely an A on your report on Mandrake---Oh yes!!!!" Uh oh! I suppose I went into a daze. I'll start taking notes again, because Snape had started to eye me suspiciously. He freaks me out. He definitely needs to loosen up. 4:30pm I have made a little list of Goalshis moans McGonagall Dumbledore Hagrid-Possibly Sprout Sirius Remus 10)Trewlawny-"I can tell you are going to be VERY good in bed Harry!"  
  
I think that I can."do it".heh!!! Hermoine: two times now! My goals are beginning to be reached. 


	2. SeptmeberSeason of Love

September 5th Oh Great! You still are reading my personal life from a book! I thought you'd bugger off by now. You know you are really sad people.you must have no life whatsoever, because if you did.well you wouldn't be reading my life from a stupid diary/blackbook and obsessing over how I'm gay, which I'm sure you'd just love to do. So you are still reading.you must really want me to continue with this huh? Fine well let's continue. I'm very dissapointed today..I caught Ron AndThat- bad finding Draco and Ron together.it could have been worse.it could have been Snape and Draco.now that's awkward. I saw Ginny today. She's gotten a bit of acne on her face. I guess she's finally begun to hit puberty. Well.I'm extremely bored. I guess I shall go and measure myself. I suppose I have nothing better to do.  
  
September 8th It's early in the morning. Probably 6:00. What? I couldn't sleep, don't blame me. So back to the measuring tape..yes.I was kind of disappointed in my measurments. I suppose I'm shrunk a little bit.only a centimeter though. So now I am.let's see if I remember the exact measurements. Yes.it was 9 ½ inches.length that is.and wide.I'd say about an 1 ½ -2 inches. Yes I know.I'm ginormous. You know the Austin Powers penis enlarger.yes? Well.I used that kind. I suppose it worked. It hasn't shrunk anymore. Hmmm.I suppose I'll go and.talk.to Ginny now.  
  
September 12th 7:00pm: After dinner was over, I convinced Ginny to come with me and walk around the school for a little bit. So we walked for a little bit, and it was quite interesting. You see.I had actually intended on JUST taking Ginny for a walk around the school, but I guess I kind of led her on. So we just stopped.hid around the corner and made out with her till nine o'clock. My hand accidentally creeped up her shirt. She has got nice.round.firm breasts though. Very nice indeed. I guess I must punish my hand.it can go and say hi to my monster if it wants to.  
  
September 18th Weekend.I was thinking of using some Floo Powder to go and visit Sirius while no one is here. I took some extra from Rons container so that I could use it when I needed it.  
  
September 21st I used the Floo Powder on the weekend.told Sirius how much I adore him. The little bugger. I can't wait to see him at Christmas. I need to hit him on my list.  
  
September 29th Hum.I've been very busy these past few days.Ron.Neville.Hermoine.Draco and Ron. I know. It all started with Draco saying: "Go do something" So.I did him. His little moans..so loud and sexy. He was begging me to do it again. 


	3. October: Month of Draco and Hermoine

October 1st ~ Month of Draco and Hermoine  
  
October 1: Oh.My.God!!!! I swear I'm starting to get on of those Gay lisps. I hate this. My goal: work on my speech and Draco.and Hermoine too. You know.I can not believe how obsessive you are about my love life.I don't think you're getting a lot yourself if you have to read about mine. This business with me and other people should be strictly private, but I guess I must get over that it's not. Oh God! Neville is Reading the Quibler.not again! My name is on the front page, and it's showing my fake face, with an ugly girl with fake boobs. I should just kill myself now and get it over with! Or tell the Quibler to get a fucking life! All right so I shall go over my goals. First goal: to get Hermoine from behind. Second goal: to get Draco from behind.again And third goal shall be unknown until reached! HA! There you go! You don't know what the third goal is! Nope! And you will never know! SO ha!  
  
October 2nd: Begun my work on Hermoine. She's figured out that I've been playing her all along.stringing her along like all the others. Now she's putting up a fight. Not a good time to work on Hermoine. Damnit! This was supposed to be an easy month, and now Hermoine isn't being easy. I think she's talked to Draco too, even though she hates him, but I think that she just wanted to get back at me for no apparent reason whasoever. So this is just great..now I have to work through Hermoine AND Draco. Grrr..I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight! I'm going to have insomnia.I'm going to kill myself!  
  
October 3rd: I walked up to Hermoine today, and I wondered why she wouldn't go for a "walk" with me. Her excuse was so mean..but I guess it was true. "Now honestly Harry.do you actually expect me to believe that you want me JUSt to go for a walk. Chances are if I go for a "walk" with you.it won't just be any ordinary walk. It will be a walk up to your bedroom, and that is one place where I don't feel like going right now. You lead me on, just to get me into bed. So no I will not go for a walk with you" Then she just picked up her books and left. I'm afraid she's beginning to get tight again. That's just great! Not!  
  
October 4th: Well.Hermoine just seems like she's going to be a waste of time, so I have gone to Draco. I'm afraid he's begun to get just as bad. This is horrible. Alright.change of goals then I guess. Goal 1 & 2: To get Hermoine and Draco at least two times before the end of this month.otherwise I may have to turn to abstenence.Oh god pity me. October 7th: I asked Hermoine if she would liket to join me after dinner for a little stroll before we are obligated to go to bed. "NO! How many times have I told you this Harry?" Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!!! She's is being a pain in the arse. I took Draco for a little stroll though, and he didn't see what was coming. Tonight was actually more romantic then about sex.but of course.as usual.the motivation was sex. I know.I'm really quite pitiful, but I swear to death that I'm okay.I really do. It started to rain, and then we started making out wildly. It took a bit, but I finally got him to let loose. I guess it wasn't that hard to convince Draco, but I must still work on Hermoine.hopefully I can get a threesome by the end of this month. Please got please!  
  
October 13th: Sorry.haven't written for awhile. Well.actually.I'm not, so you can just go and screw yourself in a fucking corner. Sorry for that outburst..I'm.PMSing. Yes! That's the excuse! I'm PMSing. My wet dream is coming in 4 days and hormones are raging, and well.you know the male body. So I have loosened up Hermoine a little bit. I suppose that I'm going to have to take some really serious baby steps. Tsk Tsk! Oh well! It's worth it. Hermoine is a tomcat! Prrrr.. So I slid my hand up her top today..she came up to my dormitory. Then I decided to..slide my hand a little down.she wouldn't let me! What a pity.  
  
October 17th: Have loosened up Hermoine some more! It looks as though life may have a new prospect! She let me move down today. I think she's playing hard to get. What ever she's doing, it's driving me absolutely wild with horniness. Heh! So I Draco has been avoiding me today.I think he was a little embarassed because someone heard his screaming and I had to pretend it was me. He's so hot when he blushes.  
  
October 21st: I finally got Hermoine's clothes off when I invited her up to do homework with me so that we could  
  
"help eachother" Well it didn't exactly work out like that! Neville.the stupid ruddy git, walked in on us! It was horrible! Absolutely horrible! He started yelling at me about how we both have no morals as Hermoine was hiding under the covers trying to put her clothes back on. It was a huge fit, and then half way through Hermoine getting changed he took out a wand and did the freezing charm. I'm actually quite proud of him.I got to stare at her bosoms a little longer.  
  
October 25th: I have finally reached all of my goals except the last one! Wahoo for me! I have gotten Hermoine and Draco together.hug threesome. See.I was with Hermoine while Draco was behind me! A HARRY POTTER SANDWICH!!!!  
  
October 31st: Day of Halloween...and I didn't reach my third goal.I may as well not bother writing what happened! DRACO! THE FUCKING ARSE! 


End file.
